ไปสอบมาแล้วคะแนนพาร์ทนี้ไม่ค่อยพอใจเท่าไรครับ เลยพยามฝึกเขียนอยู่ครับ รบกวนพี่ๆช่วยตรวจให้หน่อยครับ ช่วยดูว่าตรงไหนผิด ควรแก้ตรงไหน จุดเด่น จุดด้วย ของตัวงานคือผมจะได้รู่ว่าควรปรับอะไรตรงไหนยังไง ขอบคุณมากครับ
topic: some people believe that crime rate can be reduced by giving a long and rigid punishment while others think there are alternate ways. Discuss both sites with your own opinion
It is undeniable that crime often occurs in our society because of the impoverishment. Some people think that long and fixed punishment is the best way to reduce crime while others think that it is too harsh and we should look for other alternate ways. However, after a thorough consideration, rigid and fixed system of punishment is the only way to shape a proper society.
To begin with, some people might say that criminals should be punished after considering the circumstances and vital motivation behind committing crime because some of them might unintentionally commit crime. According to some people, it is important to consider the vital motivation for committing each crime because in some cases, people might commit crime without conscientiousness or due to self-protection. For example, the pitiful girl has to serve a prison sentence because she killed the rapist in order to protect herself.
Nevertheless, fixed and long punishment would set up a social standard that everyone is well aware of the consequences of committing crime. Since people try to avoid being caught and sentenced with the long punishment, it would subtly and automatically make people more conscious to respect the rules and laws. In a bigger picture, long punishment improves the base of society to become more secure. For instance, in Singapore, the crime rate has significantly reduced because of the long and strict punishment.
Last but not least, after a deliberate consideration, long punishment serves as an effective tool to prevent people from committing crime. Although it would be too severe, surprisingly, it works.
In conclusion, even though some people might argue that we should consider the situations and vital force behind each crime to be fair for criminals, long sentence is the only way to sculpture an appropriate society. Personally, our society would be safer if the crime rate is reduced.
ช่วย ตรวจ ielts essayให้ทีครับ
topic: some people believe that crime rate can be reduced by giving a long and rigid punishment while others think there are alternate ways. Discuss both sites with your own opinion
It is undeniable that crime often occurs in our society because of the impoverishment. Some people think that long and fixed punishment is the best way to reduce crime while others think that it is too harsh and we should look for other alternate ways. However, after a thorough consideration, rigid and fixed system of punishment is the only way to shape a proper society.
To begin with, some people might say that criminals should be punished after considering the circumstances and vital motivation behind committing crime because some of them might unintentionally commit crime. According to some people, it is important to consider the vital motivation for committing each crime because in some cases, people might commit crime without conscientiousness or due to self-protection. For example, the pitiful girl has to serve a prison sentence because she killed the rapist in order to protect herself.
Nevertheless, fixed and long punishment would set up a social standard that everyone is well aware of the consequences of committing crime. Since people try to avoid being caught and sentenced with the long punishment, it would subtly and automatically make people more conscious to respect the rules and laws. In a bigger picture, long punishment improves the base of society to become more secure. For instance, in Singapore, the crime rate has significantly reduced because of the long and strict punishment.
Last but not least, after a deliberate consideration, long punishment serves as an effective tool to prevent people from committing crime. Although it would be too severe, surprisingly, it works.
In conclusion, even though some people might argue that we should consider the situations and vital force behind each crime to be fair for criminals, long sentence is the only way to sculpture an appropriate society. Personally, our society would be safer if the crime rate is reduced.