ช่วยดูงาน essay ให้หน่อยได้มั้ยค่ะ

อยากจะให้ช่วยดูการใช้ verb agreement ,grammar,แล้วก็รูปประโยคว่าสมบูรณ์และถูกต้องมั้ย
    Every person has good and bad traits. Most people express A person their personality through their music style. A person who likes to listen pop music is confident sociable, creative and cheery, By the way, it makes me think of my classmate, she is Noon  Jirachaya. To my mind, she is friendly and cheerful but sometimes sensitive too.     
     One example of her good traits  is friendly I think she is kind. For example, when she meets her friend, she must say Hi and smiles to them. She always  talk to every body. For instance, if she meets face to face with stranger, she will hurry to get to know meets them. I respect her much. Also, if she meet someone who is not very good at socializing, she would go and talk with them about the style of music. For my point of view, she frequently brings up different types of music to get rid of pressure and creates new friendships.  
    Another example of her personality is cheerfulness. I think that she is funny everytime she makes other people comfortable when they talk with her. She also makes them relax.For example, if she engages a activities in class, she usually got compliment from classmate. And this side of her charisma, she often sing pop song, e.g., Green Tea & honey, comthru, skyline, and this make everyone happy.It seem obviously, she is cheerful made everyone in the classroom want to talk with her.       
    Finally,her characteristic of negative is sensitive. For example, very delicate to words and overthinking. Also, sometime. make her appear weak in the perspective of other. For instance, if she work has nugatory emotionalon her, Everyone think that she is not very trustworthy. And sometimes when she sad, she always listen sad, e.g., songs,  Back to December, Reckless, Drivers license. This sensitive make her sad and that make classmate worry about her regulary.     
    In conclusion, she has friendly and cheerful, but sometimes. she has sensitive too. I think she like pop music style, because she has friendly and cheerful personality. And sometimes when she listen to sad music, because she has sensitive characteristic too. By the time, because she has a personality like this, therefore making noon this music style.
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