นู๋อายุ 34 ปี เขาอายุ 40 เราเจอกันบนโลกออนไลนคุยกัน2เดือน เขาอยู่อเมริกา นู๋อยู่ไทย เราคุยกันทุกวันคอลหากันทุกวัน จนเขาตัดสินใจบินมาหานู๋ที่เมื่อไทย เขามาเมืองไทยจนถึงวันนี้ก็ 2 เดือนกว่า เราเจอกันเกือบทุกวัน แต่เสาร์-อาทิตย์นู๋จะไปยอนที่คอนโดเขา แต่ทุกวันนู๋จะต้องขับรถกลับมาให้อาหารหมาจรจัดที่นู๋ให้มาเกือบจะ 3 ปีแล้ว เพราะห่วง นู๋เป็นคนรักหมามาก นู๋มีหมาที่บ้าน 9 ตัว และหมาจรจัดที่ให้อาหารทุกวันๆละ1 มื้อ 70 ตัว นู๋ทำแบบนี้ทุกวันก่อนที่จะมาเจอเขา และเจอเขานู๋ก็ยังคงทำอยู่และพาเขามาดูให้เห็นว่ารับได้ไหมที่ฉันมีภาระที่ต้องดูแลหมาพวกนี้ (แต่นู๋ทำงานมีเงินเดือน เงินของนู๋ที่ซื้ออาหาร และไม่ได้หวังว่าจะมีแฟนมาช่วยซื้อหรือจ่ายอะไร) คบเพราะรู้สึกดีและรักเขา และรู้สึกว่าเขาก็รักนู๋ ดีมากทุกวันตลอด2 เดือนที่อยู่ไทย จนวันที่ 24 กรกฎาคม ที่ผ่านมา หมาที่นู๋เลี้ยงป่วยกะทันหัน นู๋รีบกลับมารับหมาไปหาหมอ ก็เอาหมาขึ้นรถไปด้วยกันไม่ได้มีปัญหาอะไร แต่สุดท้ายหมาให้น้ำเกลือ เจาะเลือดใช้เวลารอเกือบทั้งวัน หมานู๋ตาย และนู๋ก็เสียใจมาก นู๋เอาศพหมากลับมาฝั่ง แต่ระหว่างทางกลับนู๋ให้เขาช่วยขับรถให้นู๋อุ้มและกอดหมา แค่กำลังเสียใจและอยากกอดมันเป็นครั้งสุดท้าย พอฝังหมาเสร็จ เขาเรียกรถแท็กซี่กลับคอนโด และบอกว่าอยากมาแตะตัวเขา นู๋เข้าใจว่าตัวนู๋อาจจะสกปรกอยู่ที่อุ้มหมา นู๋เอารถไปล้างทำความสะอาด พอเขาถึงคอนโด เขาส่งข้อความมาบอกว่า เขาไม่พอใจนู๋ อุ้มศพหมาด้วยมือเปล่า แต่นู๋มีแผ่นรองซับที่หมอวางไว้ให้ เขาบอกใจเขาสลายที่เห็นนู๋กอดศพหมาและไม่ยิมแยกจากมัน อุ้มมันขึ้นมาบนรถแทนที่จะไว้หลังรถ (นู๋เข้าใจที่เขาคิดว่ามันสกปรกและมีเชื้อโรค นู๋ยอมรับที่ลืมคิดว่าไม่ควรทำอย่างนั้นเพราะมีเขาอยู่บนรถด้วย ไม่มีใครชอบหรือรักหมาเหมือนกันทุกคน นู๋เข้าใจได้ แต่นู๋ก็แค่กำลังเสียใจที่หมาที่รักตายจนลืมคิดถึงจุดนี้ แต่นู๋คิดว่าเขาจะเข้าใจในสถานการณ์นี้ นู๋มีแฟนฝรั่งคนนี้เป็นต่างชาติคนแรก นู๋เลยไม่รู้ว่าผู้ชายต่างชาติเขาคิดเกี่ยวกับสัตว์เลี้ยงอย่างไรเมื่อมันตาย เขาตัดความสัมพันธ์และบอกว่านู๋ป่วยแต่ไม่รู้ตัว ว่าหนรักหมาเกินขอบเขตไป เขาคิดว่าแต่งงานอยู่กันไป เขาจะตอบคำถามลูกอย่างไรถ้าเกิดเหตุการณ์แบบนี้อีก นู๋มองว่าเขามองไกลมาก และตัดสินนู๋แต่เหตุการณ์เดียวที่หมาตายและกอดศพหมา แต่สิ่งที่ดีๆที่มีให้กันทุกวันเขาไม่คิดเลยหรือ ฝรั่งตัดใจได้เร็วขนาดนั้นเลยหรือค่ะ เขาบอกว่า เค้าก็เสียใจและรักนู๋มาก เขารู้ว่านู๋จะเปลี่ยนได้ แต่จะไม่รอดูจนหลังแต่งหรือมีลูก เขาคิดว่า ตอนนี้ เป็นเพื่อนกันจะดีที่สุด (นู๋เสียใจมากแต่นู๋ก็ยอมรับการตัดสินใจของเขา ) เพราะนู๋ก็รักหมานู๋เช่นกัน หมามีแค่นู๋ นู๋สามารถจัดลำดับความสำคัญได้ถ้าวันหนึ่งต้องแต่งงานมีครอบครัว แต่จะให้นู๋ทึ้งหมาพวกนี้ก็คงทำไม่ได้ แค่ให้อาหารวันละมื้อมันคงไม่ลำบากมากขนาดที่เขาคิด นู๋ก็ทำเองคนเดียวมาตลอดเกือบ3ปี จะมาให้ทึ้งเพราะมีแฟน นู๋จะไม่ทำนู๋ก็มีจุดยืนเป็นของตัวเอง ( อยากรู้ว่าฝรั่งลดสถานะจากแฟนมาเป็นเพื่อน คือเขาคิดแบบนั้นจริงๆเลยใช่ไหมค่ะ นู๋ก็รักเขามากอยากให้กลับมาอยู่ด้วยกันเหมือนเดิม ก็จะพยายามปรับให้ทุกอย่างสมดุลทั้งความรักกับการรักหมา เราหยุดคุยทักหากันเพื่อให้เวลา จนเมื่อวานเรานัดกันก่อนน่านี้ไปเที่ยววันที่ ระยอง ไปเช้าเย็นกลับ นู๋ไปรับเขาและไปส่งและกลับ ระหว่างทางนู๋ก๋คุยและพยายามดึงใจไม่ให้คิดว่าเป็นแฟน เพราะเขาบอกไปแบบเพื่อนนู๋อยากกอดเขามากที่เจอแต่ไม่ เพราะไม่รู้กลัวเขาจะอึดอัด นู๋ก็คุยเล่นสนุกเหมือนปกติแต่ไม่ทำเกินฐานะของคำว่าเพื่อน เขาก็เช่นกันต่างคนต่างวางตัว
จนกลับมาบ้านเขาส่งข้ความมาขอบคุณแบบนี้ นู๋อยากรู้ว่าเขายังรักนู๋ไหม หรือยังอยากเปิดใจให้กลับมาคบกันได้อีกไหมค่ะ รบกวนพี่ๆช่วยอ่านและตอบนู๋ที่ นู๋ก็ไม่ได้เก่งภาษาอังกฤษมาก
ข้อความแรกของเขา
Thank you for driving and the medication. I slept all day
I felt sick the other day so I started a cycle of Cipro. I think I am having an allergic reaction like you thought. I'll just rest, take the medicine and drink a lot of water and I'm sure I'll be ok soon.
You looked very nice today, like you got a facial or something. Glad you are happy. Have a nice night 🙏
ข้อความสุดท้ายของเขาที่ส่งมาตอนตี2
I have had many bad things happen to me during my life. Occasionally, I get really lucky. Luck that is hard to describe but usually happens only after very long periods of time with very difficult days in-between. I think about these patterns of mine when I think about my future.
There are western esoteric beliefs that a person goes through spiritual growth every 7 years. We go into cycles and come out changed for the better or for the worse. I don't know how true this is for everyone but it is interesting to consider when reflecting on life.
I don't think or feel the need to talk about everything I've been through. I think it's just progress honestly that it doesn't serve much benefit to hang on to bad memories but wisdom and self love play a part in the way we think so I believe that's where I am at and why my subconscience mind does not surface my past anymore.
But I forget how much damage I have taken. I have many scars across my heart and the way I think. I take a long time to sort through my own thoughts most times. Unraveling all my ego driven misconceptions is part of what takes me a little longer than most to respond to questions about my own thoughts.
I am also a little different. Some people call me a spiritual person. I have a bit of what the Buddhists say here, magic in me naturally and from study. I believe many things. It's hard to explain in full. But, one of the things I have grown to be aware of is the paths laid out in front of all of us are predetermined to certain degrees. Categorizing moments as "coincidence" is often just a misunderstanding in what we asked to present itself to ourselves in life when the time was right. I also believe along the path working we can hear the question, "what do you want?" And if you stay on the spiritual paths you get everything you want good or bad inevitably. There is also the shadow self and the ego that can disrupt your focus. I'll come back to this last part later.
So I sit and think and reflect and think. I am 2 years away from closing another spiritual chapter.
In this chapter, My career took a major turn. My family life took a major turn. My spirituality took a major turn. My finances took a major turn. I struggle with focus and concentration and being in the present. I feel death approaching soon even though I know I have another 50 years or more left in me. I think about and worry about and miss my daughter all day long every day and into my dreams as well. These are all new things I think and worry about that I did not before. So I sit and think on all of these things and how this will all tie together or not in the next two years.
I cannot see my daughter so I freed my mind from the ego driven self to let life play out on when she and I will be together again. I needed to lower my costs to pay off debt and save money. I wanted to go abroad recover and bring a sense of freshness to my life. I believe this was the right choice as I have cleared my debts already. Months and Months ahead of schedule. I believe this was coincidence at play as my mind is freed from worry on this subject now. My job is also secure and remote and highly flexible. This is a gift. Mercy. Coincidence against a world where so many are struggling. I came to Bangkok as you know to meet you. As I said before, I wanted many months ago to feel love, to not be alone. I am inspired by Thai beliefs and Buddhist practices and feel the exploration of these subjects is going to help me grow spiritually and mentally in a significant new way. But there is some shadow at play for me and these things make me overthink.
I may have the opportunity to move to Europe and elevate my career and finances significantly next year. As you know, I am a strange man who has strange friends. Two good gypsies both told me that they see me in Europe. This divination came from separate people on separate days before my boss shared with me this possibility. Coincidence at play. Will this be better for the life I want even if I can stay in the same job as I have today? Ego and shadow.
I had ego driven thoughts before we met that I would never be with a woman with many pets. That I would not marry again soon. That I would only be with someone that could speak to me deeply, in my language about everything from pop culture to esoteric topics. Never say never. Ego and shadow.
From my past, I have a history of women in my life that were martyrs. I fear and struggle deeply with women that have this characteristic in even the smallest way. The dead dog day and pursuing texts was an atomic bomb on my Ego and shadow.
I do believe my pattern of hardship is now done in this lifetime. To explain why would take a while but I feel the change is upon me and the next chapter is where the patter begins fully.
All I know is that the next two years will bring decision making and change for me before the new pattern arrives. Anyone close to me will be part of the decisions and get caught up in the changes too. I don't see this as selfish thinking though. I believe I have places to be for one reason or another and when it feels like that's where I should be, I don't overthink it and just go. I just have not had a feeling to stay put yet. Maybe one day I will.
I want you to know that I love you. I do. My shadow and ego dwells on your behavior with animals & relocation heartache possibilities. I do not believe in asking or expecting another person to change. Change is a personal matter for the individual to acknowledge and pursue. This has caused me to breakdown and separate my heart and mind from you if you were aware of this or not already I do not know.
I know I have my own stuff to work on and will do so. I am no longer on a path of suffering. I need to work on my empathy else I will always be hurting. I know. Anger as a response mechanism to my lack of empathy is also a nasty thing I need to discard immediately. I know. I know how both these disconnects to my person came about. I will fix this.
I am sorry if I hurt you in any way. I believe you have the potential to keep your passion for animals within due bounds. I have wishes but will keep them to myself. I am very sorry about things with us. I hope you find the relationship you deserve someday soon. That's all I wanted to say I think.
Hopefully you don't think I'm crazy now haha 😂✌️
รบกวนช่วยอ่านและบอกหนูทีค่ะว่าเขาสื่อถึงอะไร🙏
คบแฟนฝรั่ง คนอเมริกา แต่โดนลดความสัมพันธ์เพราะหมานู๋ตาย! อยากรู้ว่าผู้ชายอเมริกันอายุ 40 เข้ามีความคิดอย่างไร?
จนกลับมาบ้านเขาส่งข้ความมาขอบคุณแบบนี้ นู๋อยากรู้ว่าเขายังรักนู๋ไหม หรือยังอยากเปิดใจให้กลับมาคบกันได้อีกไหมค่ะ รบกวนพี่ๆช่วยอ่านและตอบนู๋ที่ นู๋ก็ไม่ได้เก่งภาษาอังกฤษมาก
ข้อความแรกของเขา
Thank you for driving and the medication. I slept all day
I felt sick the other day so I started a cycle of Cipro. I think I am having an allergic reaction like you thought. I'll just rest, take the medicine and drink a lot of water and I'm sure I'll be ok soon.
You looked very nice today, like you got a facial or something. Glad you are happy. Have a nice night 🙏
ข้อความสุดท้ายของเขาที่ส่งมาตอนตี2
I have had many bad things happen to me during my life. Occasionally, I get really lucky. Luck that is hard to describe but usually happens only after very long periods of time with very difficult days in-between. I think about these patterns of mine when I think about my future.
There are western esoteric beliefs that a person goes through spiritual growth every 7 years. We go into cycles and come out changed for the better or for the worse. I don't know how true this is for everyone but it is interesting to consider when reflecting on life.
I don't think or feel the need to talk about everything I've been through. I think it's just progress honestly that it doesn't serve much benefit to hang on to bad memories but wisdom and self love play a part in the way we think so I believe that's where I am at and why my subconscience mind does not surface my past anymore.
But I forget how much damage I have taken. I have many scars across my heart and the way I think. I take a long time to sort through my own thoughts most times. Unraveling all my ego driven misconceptions is part of what takes me a little longer than most to respond to questions about my own thoughts.
I am also a little different. Some people call me a spiritual person. I have a bit of what the Buddhists say here, magic in me naturally and from study. I believe many things. It's hard to explain in full. But, one of the things I have grown to be aware of is the paths laid out in front of all of us are predetermined to certain degrees. Categorizing moments as "coincidence" is often just a misunderstanding in what we asked to present itself to ourselves in life when the time was right. I also believe along the path working we can hear the question, "what do you want?" And if you stay on the spiritual paths you get everything you want good or bad inevitably. There is also the shadow self and the ego that can disrupt your focus. I'll come back to this last part later.
So I sit and think and reflect and think. I am 2 years away from closing another spiritual chapter.
In this chapter, My career took a major turn. My family life took a major turn. My spirituality took a major turn. My finances took a major turn. I struggle with focus and concentration and being in the present. I feel death approaching soon even though I know I have another 50 years or more left in me. I think about and worry about and miss my daughter all day long every day and into my dreams as well. These are all new things I think and worry about that I did not before. So I sit and think on all of these things and how this will all tie together or not in the next two years.
I cannot see my daughter so I freed my mind from the ego driven self to let life play out on when she and I will be together again. I needed to lower my costs to pay off debt and save money. I wanted to go abroad recover and bring a sense of freshness to my life. I believe this was the right choice as I have cleared my debts already. Months and Months ahead of schedule. I believe this was coincidence at play as my mind is freed from worry on this subject now. My job is also secure and remote and highly flexible. This is a gift. Mercy. Coincidence against a world where so many are struggling. I came to Bangkok as you know to meet you. As I said before, I wanted many months ago to feel love, to not be alone. I am inspired by Thai beliefs and Buddhist practices and feel the exploration of these subjects is going to help me grow spiritually and mentally in a significant new way. But there is some shadow at play for me and these things make me overthink.
I may have the opportunity to move to Europe and elevate my career and finances significantly next year. As you know, I am a strange man who has strange friends. Two good gypsies both told me that they see me in Europe. This divination came from separate people on separate days before my boss shared with me this possibility. Coincidence at play. Will this be better for the life I want even if I can stay in the same job as I have today? Ego and shadow.
I had ego driven thoughts before we met that I would never be with a woman with many pets. That I would not marry again soon. That I would only be with someone that could speak to me deeply, in my language about everything from pop culture to esoteric topics. Never say never. Ego and shadow.
From my past, I have a history of women in my life that were martyrs. I fear and struggle deeply with women that have this characteristic in even the smallest way. The dead dog day and pursuing texts was an atomic bomb on my Ego and shadow.
I do believe my pattern of hardship is now done in this lifetime. To explain why would take a while but I feel the change is upon me and the next chapter is where the patter begins fully.
All I know is that the next two years will bring decision making and change for me before the new pattern arrives. Anyone close to me will be part of the decisions and get caught up in the changes too. I don't see this as selfish thinking though. I believe I have places to be for one reason or another and when it feels like that's where I should be, I don't overthink it and just go. I just have not had a feeling to stay put yet. Maybe one day I will.
I want you to know that I love you. I do. My shadow and ego dwells on your behavior with animals & relocation heartache possibilities. I do not believe in asking or expecting another person to change. Change is a personal matter for the individual to acknowledge and pursue. This has caused me to breakdown and separate my heart and mind from you if you were aware of this or not already I do not know.
I know I have my own stuff to work on and will do so. I am no longer on a path of suffering. I need to work on my empathy else I will always be hurting. I know. Anger as a response mechanism to my lack of empathy is also a nasty thing I need to discard immediately. I know. I know how both these disconnects to my person came about. I will fix this.
I am sorry if I hurt you in any way. I believe you have the potential to keep your passion for animals within due bounds. I have wishes but will keep them to myself. I am very sorry about things with us. I hope you find the relationship you deserve someday soon. That's all I wanted to say I think.
Hopefully you don't think I'm crazy now haha 😂✌️
รบกวนช่วยอ่านและบอกหนูทีค่ะว่าเขาสื่อถึงอะไร🙏