A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and
noticed he had his collar on backwards.
The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father..'
The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'
The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of
many.'
The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he
doesn't wear his collar that way!'
The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and
went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and
said, "Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your pants on backwards
instead of your collar."
********************************************************************************************************
- A lady says to her doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?"
- The doctor replies: "Give him an opportunity to speak when he's awake!
*******************************************************************************************************
There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened!
********************************************************************************************************
When a married man says, I WILL THINK ABOUT IT - what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
********************************************************************************************************
A man was granted two wishes by God. He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever.
Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa.
********************************************************************************************************
For several years, a man had been having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided to him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum
of money if she would go back to Italy to secretly have the child.
Also, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would provide
child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a postcard, and write
'Spaghetti' on the back when the child was born.
He would then arrange for the Child Support Payments to begin.
One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
'Honey,' she said, 'You received a very strange postcard today.'
'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said.
The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned
white, and fainted.
On the card was written:
Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce
*********************************************************************************************************
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans , with a box of frozen crabs
and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the
box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them
staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer
and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw
out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to
the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans ,
please raise your hand?" Not one hand went up .... so she took them home
and ate them and they were simply delicious.
Two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as some people might think.
********************************************************************************************************
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view)
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
"I am a dominater"!!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
'bout what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair
Turned fifty shades of grey.
No virus found in this message.
Checked by AVG -
http://www.avg.com/
Version: 2013.0.2904 / Virus Database: 3162/6241 - Release Date: 04/12/13
Internal Virus Database is out of date.
********************************************************************************************************
Hilarious compilation 18+ * Strong language
Enough for now. See you again when and if the nation wants.
Have a good day, afternoon, evening.
โอกาสดีอยู่ว่าง ๆ เรียนภาษาอังกฤษ
noticed he had his collar on backwards.
The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father..'
The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'
The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of
many.'
The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he
doesn't wear his collar that way!'
The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and
went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and
said, "Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your pants on backwards
instead of your collar."
********************************************************************************************************
- A lady says to her doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?"
- The doctor replies: "Give him an opportunity to speak when he's awake!
*******************************************************************************************************
There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened!
********************************************************************************************************
When a married man says, I WILL THINK ABOUT IT - what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
********************************************************************************************************
A man was granted two wishes by God. He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever.
Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa.
********************************************************************************************************
For several years, a man had been having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided to him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum
of money if she would go back to Italy to secretly have the child.
Also, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would provide
child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a postcard, and write
'Spaghetti' on the back when the child was born.
He would then arrange for the Child Support Payments to begin.
One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
'Honey,' she said, 'You received a very strange postcard today.'
'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said.
The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned
white, and fainted.
On the card was written:
Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce
*********************************************************************************************************
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans , with a box of frozen crabs
and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the
box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them
staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer
and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw
out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to
the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans ,
please raise your hand?" Not one hand went up .... so she took them home
and ate them and they were simply delicious.
Two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as some people might think.
********************************************************************************************************
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view)
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
"I am a dominater"!!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
'bout what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair
Turned fifty shades of grey.
No virus found in this message.
Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com/
Version: 2013.0.2904 / Virus Database: 3162/6241 - Release Date: 04/12/13
Internal Virus Database is out of date.
********************************************************************************************************
Hilarious compilation 18+ * Strong language
Enough for now. See you again when and if the nation wants.
Have a good day, afternoon, evening.