รบกวนตรวจไวยากรณ์ให้หน่อยค่ะ ขอบคุณมากๆ ค่ะ

พอดีเป็นวิเคราะห์กลอนค่ะ ให้บอกว่าชอบหรือไม่ เห็นด้วยหรือไม่ เพราะเหตุใดค่ะ เลยอยากรบกวนให้ช่วยเช็คไวยากรณ์ที่พิมพ์น่ะค่ะ ขอบคุณมากๆ นะคะ

When I Was One-and-Twenty
BY A. E. HOUSMAN
When I was one-and-twenty
       I heard a wise man say,
“Give crowns and pounds and guineas
       But not your heart away;
Give pearls away and rubies
       But keep your fancy free.”
But I was one-and-twenty,
       No use to talk to me.

When I was one-and-twenty
       I heard him say again,
“The heart out of the bosom
       Was never given in vain;
’Tis paid with sighs a plenty
       And sold for endless rue.”
And I am two-and-twenty,
       And oh, ’tis true, ’tis true.

I really agree with this poem because it teaches us to be more sensible. If you love someone, you cannot see any faults in that person. This poem compares ages between 21 and 22 years old. 21 years old is the past, but 22 years old is the present. When you were 21 years old, you might be too young to know something about love. You always gave it all your heart and did not realize any effects. A wise man said you could give valuable things, but you should not give your heart because it was more valuable than properties. While you had a wise man that warned you by a good attention, you did not trust him. Sometimes, you might think he did not understand you. Actually, he understood this situation more than you thought and he realized what would happen next. However, when you are 22 years old, you grow up more than the past. Because you have experienced from disappointment, you understand what a wise man has said. When he said it again, you learned that it was true. If you could turn back the time, you might trust him. After that, you would be next wise men to warn next people who are falling in love to not be like you did. The tone of this poem shows about sorrows and pain because a writer has given all his heart and forgotten to love himself. In connotation, this poem does not teach you only love, but it teaches you about life. “Do not lose yourself over someone else” is really true.
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