ช่วยตรวจ writing ielts task2 ที ช่วยแนะนำด้วยก็ดีครับ

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The first car appeared on British roads in 1888.
By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads.
Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

                
A quote by Augustine of Hippo, “Too much darkness could kill, but too much light could blind.” illustrates that there should have restrictions to control car ownership and use.  The using of vehicles will be balanced by such restrictions which will lead to the better quality of people in a society.
                The surprising fact is substantiated with the numbers of car ownership in Britain have soared from 1998, around 10millions to nearly 50 million in 2014 proved that people  purchase cars more than the past. Unlike last 20 years, today British people have a plethora of problems in commuting from their home to the office. However, there are various solutions to address these problems such as increasing of public transport and international laws due to car ownership and use.
                 In addition, international laws due to the problem in car ownership have reduced the car purchasing rate.  The laws have a context which control people’s behavior.   For instance, people can’t buy personal car unless they have enough space for parking.  Increasing public transport, at the same time, is very effective solution.  People begin to use public transports, BTS or Buses, since the government has improved this system.  Encouraging people to use less personal car seem to be an expected goal. However, these may not help, if people don’t change their attitude toward car owner ship and use—it may worse than present.
                To sum up, it can be clearly seen that the solutions, as mentioned in the previous paragraph, can reduce the excess of car ownership.   The problem won’t be fixed unless people change their attitude and follow the laws.
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