คำตอบที่ได้รับเลือกจากเจ้าของกระทู้
ความคิดเห็นที่ 1
Your article looks very great, and you wrote this very fast "445 words in only 30 minutes".
I'll not correct you all article what you wrote, but I will give you some comments what you ought to know about the discussion essay.
1. Inappropriate pronouns, including I, Me, My, Mine, You, Yours, We, Us, Our, and Ours, must be avoid to write in your essay. I found you wrote them many times. There are many solutions to write such these sentences. You should attempt to write sentences in either passive voices (V to be + Past Participle or known as V3) or suitable phrases. For example, this sentence "I believe that if the government plans its ~~~ blah blah blah" can be written as "Many people believe that the government ~~~ blah blah". You can use these phrases for what you think it is true such as "Scientists found that", "Citizens of Sweden thought that", "It is obviously clear that" and so on. However, you might write there phrases for what you do not believe such as "Critics claim that", "non-govermental organisation assumes that" and so on.
2. You should try to write a simple sentence.
This your sentence "However, for developing and underdeveloped countries just like Thailand, it is quite impossible to give completely-free of charge to this kind of attractions as they are required a lot of investment both in terms of money and time."
(I'm no sure what you mean about this sentence)
could possibly be written as "However, arts-related entertainment venues in developing countries such as Thailand could not be free of charge owing to the problems of low expenditures and insufficient times."
3. There are normally three parts of the discussion essay including introduction, body (pros and cons), and conclusion.
- In introduction paragraph, you should write general backgrounds and context of a topic and outlines must be written in a last sentence of the introduction paragraph.
- In body part, there are always two sides of the topic (advantages and disadvantages).
you should write at least two paragraphs in the body part including advantageous paragraph and disadvantageous paragraph.
**Tip of body part** --> "writing the paragraph which you think it is not true before writing the paragraph you think it is true"
- In concluding paragraph, you can decide to believe either one side or both sides. Firstly, you ought to write both sides in the first sentence. Next sentence should be written what your opinions are. Recommendations for the topic should be written in the last sentence.
**Tip of concluding paragraph** --> I always prefer to choose only one side over both sides to write due to the fact that It is much more easier.
I hope my suggestions might be useful for your writing. Please practicing this as much as you can.
Moreover, If you have any questions about this, please don't hesitate to ask me.
Lastly, Good luck for your examination
I'll not correct you all article what you wrote, but I will give you some comments what you ought to know about the discussion essay.
1. Inappropriate pronouns, including I, Me, My, Mine, You, Yours, We, Us, Our, and Ours, must be avoid to write in your essay. I found you wrote them many times. There are many solutions to write such these sentences. You should attempt to write sentences in either passive voices (V to be + Past Participle or known as V3) or suitable phrases. For example, this sentence "I believe that if the government plans its ~~~ blah blah blah" can be written as "Many people believe that the government ~~~ blah blah". You can use these phrases for what you think it is true such as "Scientists found that", "Citizens of Sweden thought that", "It is obviously clear that" and so on. However, you might write there phrases for what you do not believe such as "Critics claim that", "non-govermental organisation assumes that" and so on.
2. You should try to write a simple sentence.
This your sentence "However, for developing and underdeveloped countries just like Thailand, it is quite impossible to give completely-free of charge to this kind of attractions as they are required a lot of investment both in terms of money and time."
(I'm no sure what you mean about this sentence)
could possibly be written as "However, arts-related entertainment venues in developing countries such as Thailand could not be free of charge owing to the problems of low expenditures and insufficient times."
3. There are normally three parts of the discussion essay including introduction, body (pros and cons), and conclusion.
- In introduction paragraph, you should write general backgrounds and context of a topic and outlines must be written in a last sentence of the introduction paragraph.
- In body part, there are always two sides of the topic (advantages and disadvantages).
you should write at least two paragraphs in the body part including advantageous paragraph and disadvantageous paragraph.
**Tip of body part** --> "writing the paragraph which you think it is not true before writing the paragraph you think it is true"
- In concluding paragraph, you can decide to believe either one side or both sides. Firstly, you ought to write both sides in the first sentence. Next sentence should be written what your opinions are. Recommendations for the topic should be written in the last sentence.
**Tip of concluding paragraph** --> I always prefer to choose only one side over both sides to write due to the fact that It is much more easier.
I hope my suggestions might be useful for your writing. Please practicing this as much as you can.
Moreover, If you have any questions about this, please don't hesitate to ask me.
Lastly, Good luck for your examination
แสดงความคิดเห็น
อ่านกระทู้อื่นที่พูดคุยเกี่ยวกับ
เรียนต่อต่างประเทศ
ช่วยตรวจwriting (IELTS) ให้ทีค่ะ T T
อยากให้พี่ๆเพื่อนๆน้องๆช่วยกันดูว่าที่เราเขียนเนี่ยมันโอเคหรือเปล่าทีค่ะ (ไหว้งามๆ)
คำถาม
Should arts-related entertainment venues such as museums and art galleries be free of charge for the general public, or should a charge apply for admittance?
คำตอบ
Arts-related entertainment venues such as museums and art galleries should be both free of charge for the general public while there should be a charge applied for admittance as well.
One of the reasons why arts-related entertainment venues should be free of charge for the general public is the opportunities to enhance overall population's abilities for both artists and visitors. Arts-related entertainment attractions are the centers of education and recreation. People learn about the society from personal to interpersonal to universal level from the meanings, facts, and stories hidden inside the art pieces, for instance, the history of Thailand could be studied through the mural paintings in Buddhist temples. Even the abstract portraits like one of the Picasso's famous art works make you wonder about the symbolic meanings of the woman's tear and that improves your analytic and aesthetic skills. In general speaking, to develop a country and its citizen, one of the best and easiest ways is to educate its people and as arts-related entertainment venues can educate the people, the state should invest in them and give them free of charge.
However, for developing and underdeveloped countries just like Thailand, it is quite impossible to give completely-free of charge to this kind of attractions as they are required a lot of investment both in terms of money and time. Not only the initial establishment and development, to have a fine museum or art gallery means to maintain its qualities and standards constantly such as cleanliness and annual plagiarism-checking. Moreover, they can boost up our economics thanks to their individuality and uniqueness as numbers of art masterpieces will be displayed in them. So, to cut off the charge would, in turn, dismiss our chance to make "money".
Therefore, we should run this in the "middle-path" way. As the main reason why these places should be free for the visitors is the educational benefit, the charge then should be free for the young people like children and students who will grow up as the socio-economic players of the country. At the same time, adults who should be considered as tourists as well as the actual tourists should pay the charge because they usually visit for self-relaxation and they have the potentiality to help the state's development.
In conclusion, these arts-related entertainment attractions should be both free for the kids and students and not free for the adults and general visitors due to all of the above reasons. I believe that if the government plans its investment in these venues this way, the country and its people will be highly-benefited and highly-enhanced and that would increase their competitiveness in terms of human resources and economics, definitely.
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